Don't @ Me: I hate iPhone Tapbacks

I have this friend — let's call him Mike because that's his name — who loves iMessage Tapbacks. You know, those little reaction bubbles that appear when you click on a text on your iPhone. Send a good joke in the group chat, and he'll give a "haha." Ask to meet at a specific time, and he'll respond with a "thumbs up." Send a corny dad joke, and you'll get a "thumbs down" in return.

You get the picture; I hate the picture.

Tapbacks are annoying, and I don't like them. Write a real response! It takes five seconds.

I fully understand this is an "old man yells at cloud" take — this series is called Don't @ Me, after all — but sometimes the grouchy take is the correct one.

Tapbacks, which is how Apple has branded reactions in iMessage, launched with iOS10 in 2016. Even at the time, people were calling it lazy. Those people were correct.

Text messages should be a place for familiarity. It is primarily a place for conversation. Why would we willingly turn it into a workplace-like chat? Or, worse, social media? Do you want your conversation with friends to resemble Instagram, with mindless Likes sprayed about? Do you want it to look like Slack, where you thumbs up your latest assignment?

Tweet may have been deleted

Tweet may have been deleted

Just answer your texts. Write a couple of words. I know I sound like a Boomer complaining that nobody makes phone calls anymore — but seriously, are our lives so busy, our attention so short that we cannot be bothered to do more than a Tapback reaction? If I'm giving you comedy gold in the group chat, I want a hahaha or a lmao or, hell, even a lol.

I understand I am in the minority here. Most people use and like Tapbacks — one coworker at Mashable couldn't comprehend how I'd communicate without them. It's impossible to ignore the fact that they do hold some utility. Thumbs-upping a message like "Dinner's at six" makes sense. But watch any horridly long tech event, and you'll see a long parade of executives touting how efficient their tech will make your life. But a good portion of communication with loved ones happens over tech. I neither need nor want Tapbacks to make those conversations more efficient.

I should tell my buddy, "Sounds great, excited to see you," instead of mindlessly reacting to a text making plans. It's a little thing but a thing that matters. My life doesn't need to be reduced to its finest parts. I don't need to reclaim a minuscule amount of time at the expense of another human being on the other end of my inbox.

Think about it. What feels better: a thumbs up or a "sounds great?" An "omg that's cool" or a heart? A "gahahaha" or a little haha emoji?

Let's also not forget there's still no consensus on how to interpret some Tapbacks. They can easily come off as dismissive, rude, and passive-aggressive. A thumbs up so easily becomes the dreaded "ok." Perhaps some of this confusion will be alleviated with expanded emoji Tapbacks in iOS18.

I'm not saying to remove Tapbacks from your life entirely, though I rarely use them. They have utility for business-like interactions. But we must realize that Tapbacks are an insidious part of a broader movement to make our lives as efficient as possible. And do we need or want that? Do you need to signal to a friend that you're too busy to type five words? That you can't be bothered to have a reaction of your own? You don't need to heart or thumbs-up everything and everyone in your life. Use your words.